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Hecate
Newbie
Posts: 6 |
I am an anarcho
feminist, but sometimes feel alienated from
the feminist movement and the left due to
the fact that I am a sex worker. I have done
other things - such as a bit of journalism,
and I am also a musician. I find it hard to
relate to the left any longer due to my
work.
I have my issues, problems, but don't we
all, don't people in 9 to 5 jobs? I am not
ashamed of what I do. Sex work is not a
career I do all the time - I simply pick it
up as an option when times are hard. The
work itself does not degrade me - if I have
nice and respectful clients and a partner
who is supportive I can enjoy my work as I
am no prude and enjoy sex anyway, being what
is known as a sex positive feminist. I
believe in equal rights, and cannot stand
that victim brand of feminism that brand men
as predators and women as victims,
especially men who pay for sex.
I can say from experience - most men who pay
for sex are not predators who are criminally
inclined towards women. Most are lonely men
who need affection as much as sex. I have
had bad clients who are disrespectful and
see women as sex objects, but these guys are
in the minority of who I see. If my
customers treat me with decency they can
expect a good time from me, if they see me
as dirt and as a sex object I then see them
as money objects - I get their money and get
rid of them as soon as I can. From my heart
I say I have been hurt more by my partners
than my clients - whether I have been
involved in sex work at the time or not. Men
have treated me like crap when I've had
straight jobs, being a sex worker makes my
partners treat me no better or worse.
As for the pimping laws - many sex workers
want minders around, be they partners or
business associates. Men run escort agencies
for the marketing side as well as being
there for protection, and this is no crime.
There are managers of sex workers who are in
it for exploitation - but is this any
different from other bosses? I worked in an
office where my boss treated his workers
with contempt - was a millionare while
paying us starvation wages, he was worse
than any 'pimp'. Yet he faced no jail term
and was not risking his liberty for what he
did. None of us 'chose' this boss, but some
sex workers do choose to have minders for
their own protection, and in return they
risk having the men who they employ for
their own safety flung in jail for living
off 'immoral' earnings!
My ex boss in the office - his earnings were
far more 'immoral' as far as my standards
go, the way he lived off of us. Minders of
sex workers are often employed rather than
employers. As far as the guys go who are
managers/capitalists - it is true that some
of them are nasty misogynists. But the
nature of the business gives them the excuse
for misogyny as exploitative bosses use what
they can - managing women gives them more
leeway for this particular side. But I can
tell you this - regular bosses are not
immune either. My boss in the office had
mostly women in lower management, all of
whom grovelled to him. He had sex appeal, he
was a good looking bastard as well as having
a flash car to show off in. I am convinced
that the female managers who he employed did
not get their promotions through pure hard
work only if you get my drift - and if you
have ever seen the movie 'secretary'. His
female managers did his dirty work for him.
Any men on this thread who dare moralise
should watch out - in a drunken rage online
I once told a man I'd castrate him for
daring to call sex workers 'whores', yet at
the same time claiming he felt sorry for us
as we are all 'victims' of drugs and
predatory men. I could wind up all middle
class sensibilities by saying I share all my
earnings with my male partner and how I so
love him to dominate me sexually at the end
of a nights work and how I love men to be in
control of me in the bedroom, 'he hits so
hard I see stars' (Courtney Love song).
Message - sexual police of the right and
left get the fuck out of my life, if I want
to have sex for money and get turned on by
being my partners sex toy, get my kicks that
way I can and I will fight for my right to
live the lifestyle I choose. I hate
moralisers of any type. I like living how I
do, and any Leninist jerks who think they
can intimidate me by calling me a lumpen
(yawn) can think again cos I like who I am.
Pathetic dogmatic insults from politico or
internet nerds no longer hurt me. I produce
my own pawn and men pay for it - express and
feel your disgust and see if I care. Sorry,
I do care about what goes on in the world
but the way leftists speak of sex workers or
anyone else who chooses to live
alternatively has driven me right off your
movement. Not that you guys might consider
the likes of me much of a loss, but there
goes say what you will.
In sex work female managers in my experience
have usually been worse to work for than the
men. This is why it is better to work
independent, and if you need men for
protection employ them as minders, pay them
a wage have them work for you rather than
work for a man and have him as manager. I
say this for all work - I hate being a wage
slave and hate working 9 to 5. Being a sex
worker does have drawbacks, but so does any
job. The main problem sex workers face is
the social alienation and judgemental
treatment they face from 'straight' people,
and the sad thing is that in my experience I
have gained job satisfaction by making
lonely men happy, giving them affection as
well as orgasms. Yet at the same time a
patriarchal society (which has relied on
prostitution, the role of wife being the
other, opposite of what the 'whore' is)
condemns me for making men happy in this
way. For me being a sex worker often puts me
in the role as being like a sort of
counsellor for these men.
I am glad
people like ECP are on my side and do
recognise what I do as being work, akin to
any caring profession like a nurse,
housewife, mother, any domestic labour. Some
feminists are smart enough to see this, like
Wages for Housework. Due to the negative
attitude much of the feminist movement has
towards sex work Wages for Housework and
their collectives like ECP do not describe
themselves as 'feminists'
- just
being socialistically inclined women who are
in favour of women's rights and women's work
being respected as work. Women's work -
housework, mothering, sex work has been
dismissed not seen as work and it is. It
does take effort. Sex work is not as easy as
men assume - it does involve more than just
lying on your back, men want a better
service than that. Lonely men have
thanked me for making them happier,
brightening their dull lives, and it hurts
me that society condemns me for doing what
is necessary work in a capitalist society -
sexual labour. Judgemental women who see
themselves as 'respectable' and as 'wives'
rather than 'whores' are more judgemental
than men in this manner. As one writer put
it, the sex worker blows the cover of the
'respectable' woman by directly asking for
cash for her sexual labour. The sex worker
does not manipulate or lie about what her
intentions are. I have fallen out with a so
called friend due to the way she speaks of
sex workers - calling us 'dirty prostitutes'
and other foul names. That is another story
altogether - but as I am versed in Marxism
etc I see the hypocrisy in how not only the
way in which women are treated by men but by
how they judge each other.
I am a naturally kind hearted person. Some
men think sex workers are bad, out to use
men for what they can get, but that aint me
and it is not the other women I know, only a
minority of sex workers I've known have been
like that - and the joke is that the cold
ruthless ones like that are the ones who are
the most highly paid! Guess same with
anything in a capitalist world, you get more
money if you are cold, predatory, ruthless,
kindness does not pay financially.
I aint earning a fortune cos I aint a
ruthless capitalist. But I go against the
flow and rebel, despite the fact I am 36 I
do not feel this old. Long live rebellion
and long live the right to be the woman I
want to be. I enjoy my work cos I love sex.
I choose to be sexually submissive with the
men I choose as my lovers, partners,
whatever cos that is what I like,
'politically correct' sex does not excite me
as I like it when men are in control of me
in the bedroom. This is me - take me or
leave me.
Equal rights rule - all I ask is for
politicos to get out of my bedroom.
Yours Truly,
Elizabeth |
